Bagaimana Cara Menyatakan Jika Seseorang Sungguh Mencintai Kalian

How many of u have ever gotten in a relationship? Because u felt that u were in love? How many have ever broken up and said to the person, "You dont deserve me!". As a matter of fact, I dont even know how I fell in love with you in the first place." Ah I know, u were drunk in love, right? Some friends come to me and wants me to evaluate their relationship. She's been w/ her bf for maybe over 4 years. But there's no promise ring, no engagement ring, what else? there is no conversation about wedding. And on top of it, he's cheating on her. then, she wants to know if she should continue with the relationship or kick the guy to the curb. Then, I ask her, "How many times has he cheated on you?" She says "Many times, but I can count it, at least around four times". When she says that, multiply that by two, its gonna be eight times. "Do you love him?", "Yes", she replies me.  "Does he loves you?", he says he does, but his action does not show it. Anyway, what action specifically? "THE CHEATING".

If you love someone, would you cheat on 'em? If you truly loved someone, would u cheat on 'em at least like 4 times multiply by 2? Then, my friend says "No!". Well, if your answer is "NO", then you exactly know what to do. True love thats not backed up by the right action, is not true love. Another friend says, she is happy in her relationship, she loves his boy, but she's cheatin' on the side with a married man, and yes, they are both in love together. And she doesnt know how she got herself in this situation. Then I try to say, "You know how you got urself in this mess. You shifted ur focus from ur boy to someone else. You divided ur attention and emotions. Someone who used to hold the first priority on ur heart no longer holds that position. Thats exactly how you got urself in this kinda mess. So? What do you want to do? She says she would like the married man to be able to manage the situation. Then, what do u mean by this? Well, everytime the man is with his wife, he always thinks about her, and yes she doesnt want the wife to get suspicious, so that she doesnt stop the affair. Im like, "Wait a minute! So you want to continue having this affair with this man?" and yea she says "Yes". I say "Really?" How would ur bf feel about this? Put urself in his shoes. U've a bf who says he's happy w/ you, he's in love w/ u, but at the same time, he's cheatin' w/ someone else that he's fallin in love with. Can you actually love 2 ppl at the same time, uh? then he says "I dont want any changes. I just want the situation to remain the same. I want to keep both women in my life." I say, "wow! ure just like McD's slogan: ure lovin' it. arent u?" Love is powerful.

According to a survey,  about 9 out of 10 ppl cited love as an important factor to get married. Past statistics show that 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages and a staggering high of 73% of third marriages end in divorces. The question is if love is an important factor that influences ppl to get married, how come it doesnt hold the marriage? How come it does not hold the relationship together? When we examine love in a break up, I believe one of three things has happened. 

Its either :

1. there's no love at beginning of the relationship to start with;

2. there's somethin' bigger that the love that broke the relationship;

3. the love declined.

I can understand when u feel like ur love is depreciatin and u tell ur partner "I just dont love u right now", especially, when ure havin a meal together and ur partner becomes inquisitive to ask why cause he just ate the last piece of the pie-"If u loved me, u'd let me to have it". Thts what u say. Right, ladies? At the same time, I believe theres nothin bigger than love that can break a relationship- absolutely nothin- If the couple truly loves each other. And thats what I want to talk to u about today : TRUE LOVE. There are different types of love out there. U've the philia love, which is brotherly love. Its wht u share w/ ur family, friends or colleagues. Another one is eros, its a sexual type of love. It gives the feelings of arousal. When u see a beautiful sexy person just walkin past, and u're like, "Oh oh ma ma." You cant stop lookin' at them. U cant hold urself together. You begin to fantasize  and have all kinds of imagination about that person. Ure havin eros type of love. 

The next one is wht Mary J. Blige calls "REAL LOVE". You know all the song! "Real love, Im searchin' for a real love, someone to make my heart feel real love". And we still tryin to understand wht she meant by "real love". U see all these types of love cant sustain a relationship. They cant hold a relationship together. But true love, which in holy also describes as agape love, can hold a relationship together, can keep a relationship for a long haul. Whats true love? True love is passionate love, U've 2 independent words, passion and love, fused together to make a strong definition. Passion is the force that drives the love for something; its the flow that keeps love going.

"Love without passion is like a body without a soul. Its like a car without an engine" 

No movement would happen and just in case u're wondering how u can tell if someone truly loves u or if u truly love someone: sacrifice. Sacrifice for one another would indicate if u truly loved each other and sacrifice is givin up somethin for another thing thts far more important. Just like givin up tht piece of pie for ur girl that is far more important. Or its the release of something in ur possession, in an exchange for another thing that u love.

"God demonstrated true love- agape love. Love filled with passion and sacrifice"

One of my western friend was sharing his life experience : He said "I had an opportunity to demonstrate my true love. I was in college, I enjoyed galvanizing ppl for networking, and I did this throwing parties. And if you know one thing about throwing parties, the more women uve there, the more men want to come in, spend money at the bar, buy drinks, buy bottles, so my goal, every time is to have as many ladies at the party. This, however, opens the door to always have women around me. I remember after throwing a party, three women that do not know each other say they want to spend the night at my house. They wake up in the morning, one begins to feed me breakfast. The second one gets jealous. She goes into the kitchen. Grabs food. Comes back. She starts to feed me. The third one looking like, "This is crazy. Should I join the party or what?" Im thinkin to myself, "Its all a dream". But no, its a reality. Im like Hugh Hefner up in my house w/ the bunnies. But that reality was short-lived, as I meet a girl, that Im truly in love with, and she's truly in love w/ me as well. But she doesnt like the lifestyle tht im livin. She doesnt want to compete with any other woman. This is deal breaker for her, and of course, its an odd situation for me cause tht means tht im going to have t give up throwin parties and spendin time with other women so tht I can have and keep her". So I begin to analyse the situation. What im goin to do, who or what should i pick? Her over them or them over her? This is my kairos moment. My moment of decision. This is where true love and sacrifice come into play. So, I made a decision and a sacrifice to give up both throwing parties and spending time with other women, so that i can have and keep this girl tht im truly in love with. A few years later, we got married and we've 2 beautiful amazing children together"

You see, true love is the only type of love that can keep and sustain a relationship. It will help u to make the ultimate sacrifice, to give up playing games, quit destructive habits and seek counselling when u can to acquire tools and knowledge in order for u to have a healthy relationship. Because of the love problems tht ppl are havin is the reason why I wrote this.

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