A Half Visionary

Whats on my mind about past, now and future…

Just imagining that I don’t feel that I could go enough put myself into a potential relationship or a relationship, if Im not putting my past to rest. I cant assume that all boys are the same, I never gonna be satisfied and always feel doubtful. I cant paint the same picture for everyone, everybody has to get a fair chance. No one should ever to compared to exes. Even there’s some similarities might come up into ”red flags”, my ex did this way or that way. But as time went by, I actually give the person chance. Every belief that initially I had at one point was just completely disproven.

Then how about “a break for what”?

That’s why I don’t do a break. I dont find essential thing in it to do for. In every relationship that I was in, whenever it comes like ”hey, lets take a break”, I was like “nah”, mostly I never feel like “a break for a moment” exist. Im like either choose “break up” or “fix it”. A break to do what? Like I’ll go stay at my parents or friends then someone crib for a bit. What is that  gonna solve? Nothing for sure.

Sometimes, its good to be alone. Give me chance to reflect on where Ive been so far. See the truth is the brain doesnt knows the difference between I have to imagined to have had happened. So as Im trying to build a better for tomorrow, its important to go to the future and see the person I want to be, and the work that its going to take to be that person.

Someone who truly values me, would never put themselves into a position to lose me. The hardest things that I had to realize this year is just to let things be, let people go, don’t chase answers, don’t fight for closure and don’t expect an explanation. Because whatever flows its flows, whatever crashes its crashes. I know its totally hard to do, but I must do it.

Dont be fooled. They know exactly what they did and why they did. Messin' with my mind. Playin' with my emotions. Being there one day, gone the text. Responding to me every 6 hours all for sudden. They dont get to call and text me. Hell they dont think about me anymore, just because its convenient for them. Stop makin' myself available for ppl who have me as an option. When I should damn we'll be a priority. Somestimes, I dont care how long it takes dealing to each other for. They're not worth this pain. Cause they're the one who are going to be missing out on having someone like me in their life.

Respect myself to walk away

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